9 Months to Tri

Today at lunch, my little girl and I went down the road and played a round of mini-golf and ate junk food. I could’ve done without the cheeseburger and root beer myself, but to her its all part of the ‘experience’ of golfing, and today it was her choice. So, nothing else to report.

This evening, however, my father sent me an email that started me to thinking. It was a link to this very well done tribute piece about Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (Bruddah Iz), a very well known Hawaiian performer. First, here’s the clip.

Nice, isn’t it? Great voice, great music, beautiful scenery, and yet it sparked up one of my strongest fears.

Now, you want to know what my nightmares are made of? When I was a kid, they were strange monsters, sharks (thanks, Spielberg), poltergeists (thanks, Spielberg) and an myriad of other odd and dark bumpy, scratchy, slithery things. And missing clothing. At school. Yep, typical kid; typical teenager.

Anyway, this video, as beautiful as the music and scenery is, fires up thoughts of my newer nightmares. I rarely actually have nightmares, but when I do, these days they tend to focus on my waking fears, which come up more often than I’d care to admit.

For the last 7 years, my nightmares have been made up of abducted children, dying in a fiery car crash leaving my family without a father and husband, watching the house burn down while trying to find a way out for my kid and I, and keeling over at age 38 from a heart attack or some other weight-related complication. And a strange one involving an escaped zoo tiger that I had a few months back, but you KNOW I was doing everything I could to protect my daughter from it. To make matters worse, while encountering a monster, shark or poltergeist are all virtually improbable, my new fears are all far too possible.

See, Iz was only 38 when he died. Granted he was more than twice as heavy as I was when I started this, but he was the age I am now. He was unbelievably talented, incredibly well-loved, a husband and a father. And he was gone due to complications from his 700+ lbs before he reached 40, leaving this world without his talent, his wife without a husband, and his teenage daughter without a father. I can’t fathom ALLOWING that to happen to my family. I refuse to sit down and watch it unfold without fighting back.

I can’t stop tragedy if it finds us, but I certainly don’t have to embrace it. So, I’ve noticed that I wear my head-phones much less than I used to, and am generally more aware of my surroundings, especially when my daughter is nearby. I check the smoke detectors and fire extinguishers (we need one for the kitchen, actually), I haven’t even come close to getting a speeding ticket since 2000, and I’m VERY wary of other drivers on the road, especially late at night. And, now I’m training for a marathon. Come to think of it, I don’t live close to a zoo, either, but I think that’s more of a coincidence than by plan.

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